I was certain as soon as I saw these people that they were 100% peasant; bones and blood.
Their names: Matthew, Noah, Anthony, Derek.
One of these kids has the boniest legs I've ever seen, and he's taller than me.
All of them look nearly identical, and to anyone with a free mind or money in their head: you'd see immediately that they are 100% the cloned and bred mutants that come out of the Earth, with zero redeeming qualities and no souls.
The father, a balding man who seems to be dead and completely unsentient, and can't figure out how to remove his phallus from the woman's belly, is also a complete disgrace.
[He did do something nice for me, which reminds me that the peasant people are not completely evil - and do help live]
It disgusted me
I appear to be infested with this peasant Armageddon; no matter how far I retreat into royalty, truth, and magick - I cannot free myself from the conditions of my body and blood.
I'm ashamed to say: I might actually be 30% human/peasant. But the other conditions of my birth: true individuality, power, global science, humanism, complete selfishness, as well as my birth connection to royalty: provide comfort for me.
I'll try my hardest for the rest of my life to rise up, and free myself of the infinite human filth.
In other news;
I sent off my paperwork for DSHS today. For a while, I strongly considered not doing so; which to me basically means death/suicide. I feel confident that everything I wrote was part of the '2nd reality,' in which I'm not human, unique, or soul-bound, but instead a crazy, disabled, insane person who can't work and relies upon the medical industry to support him.
Obviously this 2nd reality is completely dead. There's zero future for that man.
I resent the things that I wrote, to continue my funding: and more than anything, I wish my blood would flow and my mind and personalty would come back.