Tuesday, August 12, 2014

My latest dream

Once again, John "raped me" [raped candle] for fun - because that's what he did.
He says it's similar to "raping the Mother Mary." "Because humans aren't big enough to do anything important."
I thought it was extremely painful and I think it was 60% over the limit of what acceptable pain is.
I then had a revelation:
That I have a "weight on me" that makes things impossible.
Also: I have already died and gone to "hell," and made an alliance with them.
This is why nobody will send me emails. Maybe the truth is: when I went to hell, my soul stopped beating I stopped existing for certain people.

As for this whole christian religion thing: I really hate it.
I think Christians are untruthful and extremely ironic.
They've always harbored negative opinions of me: and I certainly don't believe I can trust my life to them.
If I become a christian, I will certainly be demoted to "peasant class" again, something I'd rather die than do so.
I also think the christians want me to go to jail/prison, and the psycho ward.
Maybe they think "the person with the weight needs to feel pain."
My whole life has been about "poverty," and being unable to find the truth, find men who can help me, find love, find organized truthful religion. The christians will not help me with this; it's truly depressing.

The truth is: The christians are lying 100%, and they have never told the truth before.
The truth is: The christians are malevolent and deceptive, and will fuck me in the face completely if I don't respect them.
The truth is: I am damned and it may be 100% impossible for me to live in this world.

It's been nearly 5 years since I've dropped out of college, and I don't see any way that it's going to end soon.

I secretly suspect that if I join the army, "I will lose my soul to them and they will make me a bigger man," which is exactly, opposite of what I want.

The BIG TRUTH: There is a peasant/human inside my body, and he has the power to control me; and he tortures me and fucks me all the time; and I am a soul, with a hole in it, for the pain to come in.
It's almost like "he is the body" and I'm just visiting the world through him; he's disgusting.
When I am done: I am going to commit genocide on him and all of his friends.

If that Tim Temple lies to me ever again, I'm going to wipe him.
The same thing for Mark Drisc***, except for him I'd wipe him 7 times.

I think "Las Vegas" is extremely important.
After all, my grandfather lives there [at the end of his life].
It's known as the "city of sin" which could be extremely good for me.
VEGA is the city where all life comes from, supposedly. Also an alien planet in "Contact."

I think if I find a good organization or church in LV, I might be able to escape my present situation.
Unfortunately, my lack of money is a MAJOR LIMITING FACTOR.

No comments:

Post a Comment