Thursday, September 4, 2014

A snake is closing around me

I feel as if there is a "boa constrictor" on my body. It is tightening around me, and killing me even as I write.
It is lying to me completely, and trying to steal my soul and my mana. I feel very confident that it's a christian, and they are trying to destroy me. I feel very strongly that they are absolutely evil.

I feel very strongly that this is "something similar to what happened in Bakemonogatari," an anime and light novel. I'm going to be writing them an email, and seeing if they can help me live.

These past few days, I've felt "extremely human," such as "my brain forgetting my current problems" and "feeling very, very dumb, even when I'm in danger." I am truly very angry.

She says that "she is an April," which is the month that my mother was born in, and 2 months before I was born in. She also says "she needs to open me up and get a name out of me." I have very negative feelings about my mother, and the christians in my mind have, many many times, tortured me for my negative feelings. I don't know what else to do. There are things that I cannot forgive, especially my life between ages 14 and 19, when she was particularly mean to me.
I feel very strongly that I am defenseless; I don't have any money or any friends.

I pray to the devil, to the dark angel of camelot, to any man of supernatural wisdom and truth; to free me.

I feel very strongly that "my soul and my silver and my eyes" aren't truly human - that I am very often treated the same way as a peasant person. I feel as if the christians are completely treacherous, and there is no escape whatsoever. I wish to die forever, with the sorcery of non-existance.
I feel that is the only path for me.
The honor of the christians has been destroyed 100%. I feel they should never wear the color "white" ever again.

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