Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The war going on inside of me

It feels like there is a war going on inside of me.
It feels like there is another person inside of me, and we're always fighting to go left or right. I always go right, he always goes left. I have very bad things to say about him, and his character, and the composition of his soul.
It's been getting really bad the past few months, and I feel like 1) my soul has ripped and 2) there might be neuron damage or brain damage because of the fight.
I don't know what will happen as a result of this, or if there's anything good about it. I feel as if it might be kind of good, because it's making my soul more loose, and that might allow me to develop soul abilities, such as the ability to eat and grow stronger.

I realized this yesterday: If there is something inside of my head that talks like the Lord Father, then it makes sense that it's actually inside of me [my brain and my head] and that I am part Lord Father.
But all of the things that we care about aren't inside of my head or my soul, but on the outside. We only care about external situations between one person and another.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Some weird proof of God, from the Reformed Church of God

I made a new friend, and he showed me this video on Youtube:
I'm on video two now, and I've finally found some proof that I like and enjoy, for the existence of God. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqsfyba4sJA

He was talking about DNA, the code of life, and how it had to have been created by a God.
The first thing I thought was that the purpose of DNA was to be completely efficient and to make as much life as possible, not about quality life or great human beings. I'm not sure if he disproved that.

But what he did say, that got my attention, is that "even the cleverest dog or chimpanzee cannot make out a code" and that was very substantial to me. Dogs and Chimpanzees have DNA, and the DNA is very similar to ours, but they don't have the ability to understand DNA or to code DNA themselves. This says to me that "God created life, and God created humans in his own image."
If Dogs and Chimpanzees cannot code life, if they cannot understand codes, then they're clearly not in possession of souls or of the quality of God. This idea will stick with me for a while.

Another idea:
-If evolution is true, then why are we alive at the seemingly end of evolution, instead of the middle of evolution? Why don't we see people evolving all across the world, progressing into different forms? Why was I born at the seemingly end of Evolution instead of the middle or beginning?
-If evolution is true, then why don't we have lots of different animals and observing them to see how they evolve to overcome their problems in the environment? Why don't we have primary species, and watch them grow or evolve to survive better and populate the Earth much more?

It seems to me, after this last paragraph, that God is either the human species, or the Earth itself. Or possibly an Earth/Human hybrid somewhere underground. 

Another idea:
-If everything in the world has a male and a female, then doesn't that mean that the God has both a male and a female? Or if it's higher than human, then maybe a triune of male/female/and something else? Who is it that explains to use both of these?

Friday, July 24, 2015

There's a connection between my speech impediment and my soul.

There's also a connection between my speech impediment and my medication.
It seems like every day, I fight with a demon or monster that lives inside of me. I usually think of it as another lifeform that is living inside of me, and trying to steal my soul and my life power. I think of it as something that may have been with me for a long time, maybe even given to me by my creator.
Our fights every day are about left or right, male or female, and it's very involved. When using my brain, my power and my soul, it takes up many tens of minutes every day and lots of energy.

New idea:
-There is a God that we are born from, and there is a God that we see as we live in the human world. I'm very confused by monotheism, but I definitely don't think it's real. It might even be that the one God is just like a figurehead for a much better religion. I still won't forget who we named the days of the week after, and the planets of the solar system.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The movie "Noah:" it doesn't make any sense.

I had to stop the movie because Noah said "the taint is in all of us" about 10 minutes after he let about 1000 snakes go into his Ark. That's a very big confusion and problem. They showed images of the snake and the garden of Eden, implying the taint of the snake was in all of them.

Secondly, I just simply can't believe that all the descendents of Cain were evil. In fact, I think that all of the descendents of Adam and Eve were almost completely good and strong, and it doesn't even make any sense that Cain would kill Abel, as the 2nd generation of people in Eden. I think that part of the bible has to be false or made up. My hypothesis is that there was a war in heaven, of the people who were watching Eden, and that's why there was an altercation between Cain and Abel.

After the time skip, I was really confused when it showed Noah having 2 additional children. I wasn't sure who they were or what was going on.

This movie has some serious problems. My hypothesis is that "civilization has already fallen" for truth, anyway, and this movie is evidence that a Hollywood studio cannot put out a good movie about anything important. The truth is absent and there's nothing beneficial about watching this movie.
I'm undecided yet if I'll finish the movie.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

A new idea about animal slavery and human evil

The human civilization isn't truly civilized yet.
So long as humans eat meat, and enslave animals, we can't claim to be a true civilization.

Instead, we should eat only plants, specialize in gaining full nutrition from an only plant diet, and use our powers and intelligences to bring civility and great life to animals as well. We could even make an animal city, or an animal maze system to ensure that animals live long and productive lives.

The fact that we haven't done this is a great act of incivility. Some animals can live their entire lives in confinement, breed on orders, and create slavery for their offspring as well. They might even be eaten, all while never having left the confines of a farm or plantation. This is similar to a prison system, where the tyranny of a law system can confine a person for years or longer in a prison or jail, while not being able to End or to Stop or to be finitely corrupted by the prison system. This is expert slavery, that is thousands of years old, and it shows that our nation isn't at all civilized.

My experiences of involuntary living are that I have a difficult time expressing myself, and there is a great feeling of powerlessness. Almost all of the powerlessness comes from lack of money, which doesn't seem to be anything that will ever go away.

Of course, this situation is finite for me, and will go away soon or someday. Unlike 95% of all human beings, there is a camera behind my eyes, and I'm certain that there are people looking for me. There are organizations and entire nations dedicated to protecting and promoting my race of people - those people who are not animals, who are not animal humans, and who have a mysterious and powerful existence behind them. This is true for me. I've said it so many times and told so many people: there might even be a soul container inside of my head, separating my soul from my brain and trapping me in the body for an entire lifetime.

But the tyranny of the American nation - that everything is about money, and this problem of money is unsolvable, is a question for another time.
I've been thinking recently a lot about prison time. I'm not criminal-minded myself, but I feel very strongly that the irrationality and corruption and evil minds of the American legal system will someday force me to prison time - it's just part of the experience of being in America. Of course, if I had been born with money, I would never have experienced prison. Rich people in America are privileged and are never harmed or suffer .

Making children is kind of like bringing slavery to new lives -- but then again, it might be the opposite.
If I make children, does my existence and soul expend energy to bring another life into the world? Does my soul/existence provide for it for it's entire life? What about for it's children?
If I make children, is a part of my soul/existence enslaved in a new body, for the length of that bodies life? Could it be that the nightmare of human existence is infinite slavery of human bodies?
And if that's true, why can't I comprehend this with my brain and my mind and my soul?  I can't describe these important ideas, and I can never discover the full extent of my soul or what really separates me from other human beings. All that I can say is that it's truly mysterious and profound, and the common people of America don't like talking about it.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Some sobering thoughts

I've decided that a single person isn't important.
Of course, I'm important - because I have a time-thread going through my body for the past 28 years - my soul and my existence.
But it's not very good to be alone. In fact, it's much, much better to be in groups of a hundred people, and to share your thoughts and make maximum gene strength and creativity and originality. Myself being alone is a waste of years and a waste of life and energy.
However, my being a poor man, and my upbringing tells me that my soul and existence are small, but it might actually be completely the opposite. The people around me do not talk to me like I'm special or worth more than 1 person, but then again never before has anything very bad happened to me - like a mugging or an assault. This means I'm protected by the laws, and also made anonymous by them.

Despite this, I'm fairly certain that there is censorship being done on my emails and my home address post mail. That's the only way I can explain how few letters I have received.