Sunday, August 30, 2015

Letter to college choice organizations

Hello, I'm looking for a very specific type of college.
I'm a biologist and my research has been about what makes a human being unique: the soul. My research has led me to believe that there are less than 200,000 soul-people in the entire USA, and that a lot of people know a lot about them. They might even be the most famous people in the USA.
If a human being is an animal and can live without a soul, then the type of people I'm interested in are those who have a soul and have a creator, and live as a human being but with very different interests.
I'm looking for a university or college in the USA or international that specifically caters to this type of person:
-The few people in the USA who have a soul and a creator
-The top 200,000 souls in the USA
By soul: I mean the supernatural existence that mostly lives inside of the brain or the nervous system, and is the person inside of a body that the creator cares about. It's what separates animals and the highest quality of human being: the soul.
I feel very much that I have a soul and I'm among the top 200,000 in America. It's kind of like having a camera inside of you, or maybe like a little man inside of your head. I feel very human though, and my whole life I've tried to make myself more unique than other people I've met.
So can you help me find a specific college that is set up just for soul people? I would be very, very grateful if you could do so. If not, are there any organizations in the USA or world that specifically cater to souls and soul-people?
Thanks so much,
Steven ***** ******

I saw my soul today

I had just gotten into the shower.
I saw briefly for about 1 second a very dark dot out of my left eye. I have reason to believe that it was something I was seeing from inside my inner eye, not actually in front of my left eye.
The dot was black and very deep, and it was like a forbidden object. I sensed that this dot was actually the source of my mind inside of my head, and that it was something out of reach but was doing a lot of work. It was actually very scary, but I sensed it wouldn't hurt me. It seemed like it was very angry and very unpleased with my life over the past few months.

In the past week or so, I was reminded of my soul-experiments in the past. There was one major experiment that I had done, inside my visions, to see the true reality of the soul.
  1. The soul is inside a golden ball inside of our body. And the soul is completely controlled by "orders" and "rules" that are all over the ball, that the soul is being forced to read every millisecond. The soul reads the orders and makes memories, and cannot violate the orders. Removing restrictive orders and adding positive orders will make the soul more powerful, but will be less as intended by our creator. 
  2. The soul is like a little black man, at most about 2 cm tall and completely dense and solid out of soul particles. He lives inside of a room, similar to the golden ball, but more like a structure. In the room, he runs a particle gun that moves black dots into different lines. This is part of the structure of soul movement and thinking. There may be up to 4 different lines and the black man uses the gun to switch between different lines very quickly. He may be capable of switching lines in a millisecond or less. The entire room is golden and the man is dense black.
These two soul experiments are very highly valued to me, and when I was discovering them, I was completely serious and invested in them. It was using all of my concentration to discover these, and I did so with the full intent of my soul. In my experiments, I succeeded in changing the orders inside of my golden ball, and I also changed the man inside of the dot lines room.
Over the past week, I had been trying to go back into my golden ball, and discover the orders that are limiting me now. I think that my soul has so much power that it is capable of, and it is being limited from that by some unknown factor. I think I'm being limited by the constraints and limits of my creator, who designed my soul and put the original orders in it.

I have to say that I think both of these rooms are completely real, but nothing changed for me on Earth after discovering them and changing the orders inside of them. It may be that these are completely real, but exist on a different plane or different reality. I will never forget them though, or how much invested I am in them after discovering them. Again, they were high-resolution and I was exceedingly careful the changes that I made in them to only profit and support myself.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Zombies and my religion about souls

I've realized several times now that the trend in Zombies in fiction is actually very interesting to me. 
My religion about souls is about how few souls there are, and what a human being is if he doesn't have a soul, but he lives an entire lifetime and makes children.
The idea of zombie apocalypse: that all people become zombies except a few survivors, is relatively similar. It says that the vast amount of people do not have souls, ie they can become zombies, and only a few survivors exist - those with souls.

I wonder if there is a zombie-movie forum or someplace on the World Wide Web that I can find people with similar views to me, who also believe that survivors are soul people. 
I also wonder if the Hollywood Studios which make these movies are aware of everything, and the zombie fiction movement is friendly to me. Who else is aware of everything - the truth? How many zombie fiction fans are aware of the truth, in excess of what I have hypothesized? How many zombie moviemakers are aware of the total truth, of souls and human beings and most importantly: what I am?
In addition, I am thinking that the entire soul does not reside in a body, but instead has many qualities and quantities, and may even be part of the Earth or part of human society.

Friday, August 28, 2015

I really need some help

I am facing major depression and thoughts of suicide.
I am facing poverty and an inability to take care of myself. Sometimes I can't even renew my Social Security paperwork.
I am facing homelessness and all of the risks that go along with that.
Just today, I got a parking ticket notice that my car could be towed away if it wasn't moved within 3 days. That was very stressful.

Even though I sometimes have whole months of peacefulness with nothing bad happening, I still am uncharged. My joy and my happiness and my satisfaction are at all time lows, and my stress is very high.

I think if I had a girlfriend, my life would be much better.
I think the fact that I don't have a girlfriend must be a conspiracy, and the pressure is getting worse and worse. It's almost like somebody is running up my stress and frustration while reducing my happiness and financial security. It's like a game of poverty and suicide, and I'm taking it really roughly.

The worst part is, I don't even know how to commit suicide. Maybe that's evidence that I don't really want to do it. I don't have the willpower to do drastic methods like cutting my veins or shooting myself. I just can't will myself to do that.

If only I had my dreams that I used to have: I could find joy and happiness in life and have some hope for the future. More than anything, I wish for financial security and to have my old dreams come back to me, or even better: to have a supernatural soul for real.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I got caught on google maps car today. Not yet uploaded to server.

In the alleyway between 2nd and 3rd avenue, on NW 107th St. I wonder how long it will be before I'm on the google maps? It was today around 2:50pm.

https://www.google.com/maps/@47.7069217,-122.3600979,3a,75y,190.5h,67.22t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s_HMcosiXG-x0PI8WgImOHA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

I need to articulate my soul malady and find somebody who knows what it is.

The fights inside of me that occur whenever I lay down, and almost every night when I go to bed.

I think it might be possession, but it's more of a personality inside of me. We fight all the time over morality, like christian concepts of heaven and hell. I feel like my supernatural soul has been loosened inside of me and one of my arms or wings of my soul has been jammed into something, and it's painful. It's like somebody is grabbing my arms and trying to pull me in a different direction than the one I was going in.
  • This is mostly true and accurate.
  • The other personality inside of me, it has two different appearances: one is a man who is like a demon, and one is a woman who is pretending to be a man. Both of them are demonic and very grunty and physically exerted.
  • I fight with the "ropes inside of me," or "the arms inside of me" to go right all the time, while the other personality wants to go left. To me, right means masculine, left means feminine, up means success, and down means poverty and no success.
  • Every time I fight, I feel like we're actually fighting over my immortal soul, and if I go to heaven or hell, I take it very seriously and these fights must be expending quite a lot of energy inside of me.
  • The demon or other personality is intwined with both my body systems, and deeply inside of my brain. It's really deep inside of me, and just talking about it has consequences for me and my memory and my personality. It's almost like the demon is literally at the seat of my soul, or next to it, and is aware of everything that I do that is important.
  • I only win the fights around 70% of the time, and sometimes I win the fights by having other arms captured inside of me, which is worse in the long run.
  • Sometimes it feels like the other personality is near death, or is actually undead, and that if he/she loses they will die permanently. But despite this, the other personality hasn't stopped for a long time, even though he/she has lost many times.
  • Sometimes I feel like this soul problem is about my body systems being misaligned and unused. For example, my blood sugar is low and my body doesn't get much use, and that's why I'm being tormented by this spirit or personality inside of me. It sometimes makes me want to do things, like exercise or use my body.
Who might be able to assist me:
-A qualified exorcist.
-Somebody who has my trust and can sense other personalities or demons
-Somebody who knows a lot about the supernatural soul and can sense them.
-A priest of a true religion, or an inner priest of the catholic church.
-Somebody who believes me that I'm one of 200,000 souls in the world.

====
A new idea:
If I spend all day thinking, and trying to make my soul work correctly: what could be inside of me? 
Could it be that I've been making power for myself, and the whole time my not working has created a super-powerful repressed spirit? Maybe I'm developing new abilities, or things outside of my body are going in extreme directions?
I can't help but think that SOMETHING must be increasing, with how long I spend alone every day on my computer and thinking. Something supernatural is probably coming, sooner rather than later.

Friday, August 21, 2015

A disturbing trend on my computer

In addition to not being interested in videogames, being incapable of schoolwork or homework, and not being capable of building or repairing computers anymore, there is something just as bad:
When I download files onto my computer, I don't have enough willpower to label them and sort them on my computer. This has been going on for about 4 years now.
Nearly all files are separated into about 8 categories and then put into folders labed "To Sort" and I don't actually sort them for years at a time.
When I was younger, my computer was very organized, and I would spend hours organizing my music collection and all the files on my computer. Now, nearly everything is in general folders and in "To Sort" Folders. What am I going to do about this? All the things I valued about myself have degenerated and are in the toilet.

My life is important, and I'm probably being watched

I realized today that my life not only intersected the beginning of the internet and the rise of the Personal Computer, but it also intersected the year 2000. These two things are very important and probably means that my life is very important, and my life on this planet was planned by my creator, to coincide with these two things.
Not to mention the impact my grandfather had on the computer industry, which makes me extra-special and extra-valuable.
Now how to capitalize on this and be productive to the limit?

Proof that there is life after death, and proof that my soul is in control of thousands or more people

I feel 85% certain of this. Double sine.

The world is kind of like a tribal system, that developed chiefs and shamans and then grew up and developed new things. Early in the history of our civilization is when the issues of life and death were resolved, and the world could not continue onto bigger things until these were resolved.

As cities and counties grew, the issues of life and death were less important and the world grew with certainty that people who died went somewhere good, and their power of existence was consolidated.

Now that we are a nation that is in control of a continent, we are so far above the issues of life and death that we have systems and ideas far above that of life and death. It might even be that the issues of life and death were entirely decided in the days of Zeus and Jupiter. The fact that the planets were named after Roman Gods, and I feel that I am related to them by soul, is evidence that our people are not in any way marginalized and we will inherit the Earth.
With the advent of NATO and the United Nations, it could be said that the world is running so well, and the life and death of our people is going so well, that supremely large concepts and organizations are existing in the world. The flight network, and the trade network all across the world are proof that the World society is going great and life is supreme.

I feel strongly certain that my soul is destined and protected by the world, and that I am completely important. My soul must be in possession of millions of human bodies, and thousands of high-performing people in the world society. Someday, I will reconcile these people and make myself an Empire of all the things which glorify me.

It might be true that the most important things for my life are 1) nutrition 2) protection of my body and brain 3) to live where nobody who wants to hurt me knows where I live and 4) to make sure my body is entrusted to like-minded people when I die, to preserve my white matter and all the product that I've made in my nervous system and brain.

Again, I feel completely certain that our civilization could not exist, or have advanced so far unless the issues of life, death, heaven, and personal soul empire were already all advanced and working well. 

I am 85% certain of this. Signed, Minenstutushia-nin. Secrecy and certainty.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Proof that I have a soul, and ideas about Microsoft App Store game SOULCRAFT

I was having a vision inside my head, that I was in a conflict with a person. And then I started speaking in a foreign language. I thought the language was a combination of Latin and German. As soon as I heard this, about 35 words that are 0% English and I've never studied before, I decided that there was something mysterious and soul-like inside of me, that proves that I'm unique and I have a soul that the common people of Earth do not. The words were very violent, like a genius from the USA who went to Germany and learned a private language and spoke those words in my vision. The vision was also about rich people, and my language was about me being superior to rich people with my language and my education. I was optimistic when I realized this, and that it's still inside of me!

Today, I was thinking that a person like me, who might be considered an entire existence inside one single body, with a camera-like soul peering out from my eyes: it's impossible for my life to be unimportant. If I live my life alone and poor, then there must be serious consequences for other parts of the world, in the grand scheme of things. I've heard that in the USA, the life is all like a big party. The fact that I'm not having any party at all means that there must be consequences somehow, and the other parts of my existence are punishing people or making trouble.
Now as for all of the people I have contacted and not discovered the truth: I can only think that there must be a law or a great ordered conspiracy to deprive my people of the right to see the real world.

Now onto SOULCRAFT, a game in the Windows 8.1 app store:
The character you play is an angel, and the game gradually tells you small things about souls.
I've decided that the game company is probably telling the truth about souls, in some small details, and the difficulty of the comprehension of the soul truth is angel quality. We're angels because all the truth is being covered up, and we can only find the truth after a long time discovering it and trial and error, and in the end we may only find the truth inside and never know all of the truth.

The nervous system and souls

I think the soul may be directly interacting with the human nervous system.
Otherwise, all bodies central is interacting with the nervous system, and those of us with privileged souls are interacting with it after interacting with the core of the human body.

I've been wondering for a while now, if feeling pain is actually good. It seems that is what the nerves do best, is send feelings of pain into me and test my limits, of what I can feel and what happens when I feel pain.
Every time I feel pain, I feel like I'm losing something. Similar to losing money or possessions, or similar to losing parts of your body from tissue destruction. To me, pain is the sign that I'm losing something precious to me: that is why the pain is unendurable. This seems to be contradictory to what I wrote before, about pain being good. 
However, the full workings of the nervous system and the soul require a lot more analysis and research, in addition to my experiences in my body, with a partially awoken soul.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Animals which have souls, and animals which don't

Animals which have been bred to make meat, or to make milk, or to otherwise take away from there evolutionary ability do not have souls. Animals who are destined to live their entire lives in confinement do not have souls. The only humans who have souls are those who have special genes and special abilities, giving them a destiny in the world: to do something unique.

The soul seems to me, to be inside the nervous system. This is for me, a 28 year old man whose soul was put into his body around age 4 and has lived logically his whole life. Supplements to improve nervous system health are good for your soul. The soul is inside of the nervous system, and it might actually be good for the body to feel pain. The soul seems to like it, although it doesn't like major tissue damage. Things like being poked with needles and the pain of it seems to be good for your soul: it is probably doing something because of the pain it feels.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Technology of biology and human existence

If we are making computers now at 22nm fabrication tech, and there has been a massive drive to make it higher tech, then what's not to say that biology tech has also done the same?

Of all the countries in the world, there must be some that have no restrictions on biological technology.
Of all the history of the Earth, there must be absurdly high advances in biological technology.
Of all the famous people in the world, and the people in power, they must have benefited from this biological technology.

Things that can be done to increase biological technology:
-miniaturization of technology to operate on biology, and to make life constituents smaller.
-removing of human brains and separating them into its base parts and base elements.
-Experimentation on birth and what things can be done to increase the birth quality.

It seems to me that the absence of all of these, in the common world, is evidence of 2 things:
-The existence of a God, who does not allow biological technology
-Very strong government, even international government, which does not allow that sort of biological technology.

Of course, I disagree. The vast majority of humans do not have souls, and there's no reason why we cannot experiment on human beings to discover the secret of immortality and greater, healthier life.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

My terror of "going to hell" and my disbelief that I will be rewarded by a christian god.

I've been going to church the past couple months, and I'm very worried about this whole God thing. I still don't really believe in God -- if I did, I would like to know lots of things about him; like how to prove he is there, and where it is that you can talk to him, and how to do my most to gain favor with him.
But I'm starting to believe that all of the things I've been ignoring my whole life might actually be true, and the god of christianity might actually be real. I'm still working on this.
I'm stumped by the distance problem: Washington state is one of the furthest places away from Israel and Jerusalem, and Seattle isn't an especially religious city. 
In addition, my intelligence regarding this issue of religion and souls is higher than an average person, and even if "The god" was invisible or operated by a secret organizations, I would still be able to understand it and to make sense of it. I'm also very aware that the USA is still enthralled by Roman religion, and that is contradictory to the christianity that the church espouses.

While at church [a catholic one], I couldn't help believe that the poor conditions of the church, and their dishonesty on the most important issues that I care about, and the poor service that they give is a reason why I don't have to believe in them. In fact, there's nobody that I'm aware of that has impressed me, except the biggest church in Seattle: St. James Cathedral. I've been there a couple times and I was impressed by the services as well as the size and scope of the cathedral. This made me more likely to believe, and to think that they were professional and rich enough to actually be worthy of the religion of christianity.
I was thinking today that the life we're living is very, very plebian, no matter how you look at it. And my relationship with escaping the poverty I was born into is tempered with police action. I'm terrified of police and not once in my entire life have I ever felt safer because of police, or believed that my rights were protected by them. In fact, all that I've ever seen is that unless you have lots of money and a very good attorney, the police will do anything they want and you will never see justice. Worse than that: while rotting in a jail cell your mind and brain will accept them, and you'll lose your self and your sense of justice.

While in the church today, I had sort of an episode and I was thinking a lot about torture. There is kind of like a presence that lives inside of me, and moves my nerves and controls me by talking to me. I've always felt like it is an evil spirit that exists in filth and sin and doesn't care about rights or fairness. While in the church I felt it and I was having some very evil thoughts: thoughts probably about the same level as genocide that the church actively fights against. I then spent the rest of my time at the church thinking about my spirit consuming mana and consuming the blood of other people, and wondering if the spirit of the church was entering me for my time spent there. I wonder if "the god" or "the church" even knows that I'm at the church mass, or if I don't get any credit at all for spending my saturday and sunday in the church for mass. Yes, I'm going to two different masses, one of Saturday and another church on Sunday.

I think for me, if I just live and overcome my feelings of suicide, that is win enough and I will be rewarded by my creator. Suicide is a very big problem for me and I've lived with it my whole life.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

A letter I posted on a couple different forums

Searching for the answer of souls and Earth-religion

 My research on souls, biology, and religion has been going on for nearly 5 years, after I dropped out of the University of Washington. Since then, I have had at least 3 major supernatural occurrences happen to me, and I've been almost entirely alone the whole time. The people who I've met during these supernatural occurrences did not give me their name or their address/phone number, except one of them who only gave me the name "Gabriel."

My religion is very special because it has a lot to do with destiny.
-I've been told that every person in the world with destiny has at least 1 famous relative, and that's true for me. My grandfather is a very famous businessperson from Boeing and the computer industry, and he even has his own wikipedia page.
-My religion is about "how few people there are," and I think there must be at most 200,000 souls-people in the world, including me. That is very important to me, to discover what a soul really is: whether it's a town, or a zip code, or a soul-center, a supernatural sphere inside of my head, or something else. Of course I recognize that there are hundreds of millions of bodies in the world, or more. I'm also very researched on white matter in the brain, and the products that the body creates as a result of studying, researching, and making memories. This is fundamentally important to me.
-My religion is very smart and refined, and I strongly believe that the christian god isn't real, but that the Earth itself is God, and that "digging underground" and discovering underground cities and religious sites is the key to finding the potential of the soul and discovering the secret. If you just think about it: the human species lives all around the Earth's crust, but the only way for us to be united is by digging underground or looking to the Earth's core, which is what unifies all of us. The clouds and the atmosphere are completely separated, and get larger and farther away the more upwards you go.

I have been sending letters and emails to philosophy organizations, religious centers, major christian churches, and other relevant places for nearly 2 years and I haven't received a single physical response. My religion is very Earth focused and I don't have any single religious background, but I am leaning towards Scientology. My education in school is very Scientific focused, and I majored in Biology with the intention of becoming a Genome Scientist. I also have a lot of experiences and spiritual visions of DNA and Genomics, and I feel very scared to lose my gene and my chance on the Earth to survive and prosper.
Another spiritual experience I had was when I dropped out of school, and I went to a dream world where I was a magick user and a sorcerer, and I was completely astounded by how detailed the vision was and the deep relationships I developed there. The planet was called Terra and I not only flourished there but I eventually left the planet and became a God [in my dream/vision]. I feel certain this is proof of a soul and I've thought tremendously about it, and what it means, and how it was possible.

Even now, years later, I still lay on my bed and my imagination and soul goes elsewhere, trying to understand the world and communicate with other people. I was wondering just today if maybe the network that souls use to communicate is super-fast and high-tech, and I've been using it the whole time. I've seen many different movies and read many different books that discuss souls and the true essence of a person, and I feel certain that I know what it is, but I don't have the power to make it grow or to find other soul-people in the world. I also don't have a lot of money, and live very inexpensively. I like to think that with a phone, an internet connection, and a lot of postage stamps, I can discover the truth and find other like-minded people all across the USA or otherwise, and find the answer. Can you help?

I am a 29 year old soul researcher, and my defining quality is that I think I have destiny and that I am among the top 200,000 soul people in the world. I'd like to talk to anyone who thinks similarly, even if you're christian or you want me to look at the world differently. Please email me!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

I watched the movie Prometheus again

And I couldn't help notice that the first scene is of a suicide, which reminded me of Socrates and his hemlock. It made me think that maybe death is the beginning of a journey for people in my situation. After all, the alien was very strong looking and proud.
But I know better than that: If you're going to die, it's best to die in exactly the right place and time, so that your body is picked up by the right people. What happens to your body must completely change "where you end up." 
I wonder if people in Seattle, Washington even have a heaven or hell, or a generic super-heaven for scientists and secularists.

The movie was great again, but I couldn't help notice just how difficult life is for the people of the vessel Prometheus, especially Elizabeth Shaw. I've seen that sort of struggle before, with my own life and my experiences in hospitals. It's when your soul is doing one thing, and your body is doing another: there is a lot of pain and damage to your body and nervous system. I feel more suffering is in my future, but I'm doing my best to prevent it. That's what we have to do to make our "GENE" survive and propagate, and be the best biologist a man can be.
That's a promise.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Aliens are completely real

I've decided that the question "Is there life on other planets" is a psychology question, not a real one.
I think that there are thousands or millions of worlds with life on them.
I decided this after thinking about what a planet and a star are: a fusion engine converting matter to light and heat, while promoting elements; and a planet that accepts that light and heat to warm up the outer part of it's planet and atmosphere. 
If that is what is happening for millions of worlds in this galaxy, then it only makes sense that life could be happening on a great portion of them, if for no other reason than the star/planet system promotes life and makes it possible.

I also think that, if it is true that stars, satellites, and flight are the key to understanding life on other planets, then the Earth history may only be starting to begin on Earth, with the 20th century. Who knows what the truth is regarding all of the centuries and millennia of history that have gone by.

In addition, I think life is much more complicated than just a body and a brain, and I think that the dead people - people who have already lived and died, are a very significant force in the history of the Earth and what happens to me and my people. Similarly, I think the dead are very unfriendly to crime, and that is why our "justice system" is so horrible.

So to wrap it up:
-Aliens are completely real, and there must exist some sort of life on millions of other worlds.
-Because of the scope of life on a galactic scale, life must exist even after it's been extinct, somehow, and it must exist in the galaxy and on the planets it existed on.
-Dead people may be more significant than living people, and can control the world.
-Mysteries of life and the soul are extremely important and must be understood.

One more thing: I think that the question "Is there life on other planets" is a code phrase, and millions of people already know that life on other planets is completely real.

Signed, Steven James Debsin.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Proof that heaven is real

Heaven has to be real because of the great idealism and power that some people have in the world.
I believe that not only is heaven possible for spirits, but there are places on the Earth where heaven is true for human bodies as well. The history that we've been told isn't completely true, because the idealism of man is much stronger than you can know. Camelot might be an example of great idealism, but Columbia [in Bioshock] is another one. These places have to be real, and someday I will find them and explore them.

And it follows that if heaven is real, then the Catholic Church might actually be really important and may also truly be following the will of these people, or some sort of God if that were possible.

When I look at all the stars in the night sky, it seems to me that the God of christianity might be real, if he were a number of these stars. But I also think that one of the stars in the night sky is mine [maybe not one visible with the naked eye] and that it belongs to me and my immortal soul.

A strange dream, and ideas about dreams

I had a long and powerful dream this morning.
I was aware of it while it was happening, but I couldn't really focus on it. It was like the part of my brain that it was going on in was different from what I normally use.

But I do know a couple things:
-The dream world is different from the real world; I own things in the dream world that I don't own in the real world. I remembered a previous dream from 6 months ago and still believed that I owned something, which is very surprising to me.
-The dream world is kind of like a different world and may be supernatural, like something that is actually very important but I don't consciously remember it very often.

I think that it would be very interesting to discover where the dream world is, how I relate to it, and what separates me from it. It seems like there's a part of my human brain and soul that is always in the dream world, although I've never paid too much attention to it.