Sunday, February 28, 2016

The Satan that torments me

Some more deductions about the Satan inside of my brain or soul that torments me.

The language that I use to describe the Satan is almost 100% warlike, as if the person described killed everything I cared about and declared war on me for 1000 years.

The counselor that I go to, obviously being a Plebeian, is 100% incapable of believing that this Satan is real or giving me any ways to prevent and stop it. I am very resentful of him, being so incompetent and not believing in what I tell him.

It must be very involved with brain chemistry and partitioning.
If I think or write about it, it torments me. Even right now, it is torturing me. It seems to be intelligent because what I write changes what it does, and if it tortures me or just torments me. But that's weird, because I should be monopolizing all of my brain and soul with my living and daily functions.

The torture is either 1) coming from or 2) focused on my penis, which is the hardest thing to talk about. A voice in my head described the Satan as "a slug" but I'm unsure how a slug could have power over me or torment me so much. I feel significantly better when I'm not wearing any pants and I can see my penis and air myself out.

I was thinking a couple days ago that psychology may in fact be the center of the soul. And in my case, I am very unfocused on and ignorant of psychology.
This slug or Satan literally has GOD POWER over me, and can kill me, destroy my soul a piece at a time, enslave me, control my words, or torment me however it pleases. This is weird because I don't particularly believe in a supernatural God that has powers over bodies and souls anywhere in the world.
I try to curse this Satan or slug and I immediately forget what I'm doing halfway through. That is the sort of God power that it possesses. It is almost like it is my creator, the thing which put my soul into my child body.

The song "Moonlight Sonata" calms me. That is the sort of mood that I'm in.

I desperately wish there was one person in this nation who believed what I was saying, or could actually help me. I'm thinking brain surgery might help me, but that terrifies me.
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A hypothesis on what is wrong:
I became a God, and my strength and courage made me do some very extreme and powerful things. And the God which owns me turned me into a girl, and I am completely terrified and resentful of this girl thing. I am completely focused on being a man. And my manhood is really traumatizing my soul, which is now a girl. That's one possibility. The God who did this to me is WG3.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Old ideas that I'm struggling with.

Is it possible that the soul exists only inside of the body, and nothing outside of the body?
The body is a vessel and without a vessel the soul cannot live?

If that is true, then it would seem very likely that when a person dies, their soul is physically removed and put inside of a soul "heaven" before it can be replanted in a new human body. It sounds like slavery to me.

If that were true, then the people who are aware of who is a soul and who isn't a soul would be very, very secretive and conspiratorial. I do believe that they exist, however. People are DEFINITELY aware that I am a soul and not an ordinary animal human.

However, I do believe that both the brain and the soul are a lot smarter than I give them credit for. I really wonder what my soul and brain actually know and believe, with as much thought as I've given this. 

One thing that is really important is the intelligence difference between a soul-human and an animal-human. I feel as if my intelligence is relative or somewhat equal with other humans, but the soul is very intelligent.. 
So it is possible that the soul exists in some sort of container or trap inside the nervous system, and cannot be aware of itself or exercise it's true intelligence.

I feel as if my lack of understanding is one of the biggest problems of my life. And I am definitely a little crazy, which is lethally traumatic and unfortunate for me.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The demon inside me that torments me.

For over 3 years, I've been tormented inside by some sort of demon, or terror, or evil spirit. I feel it inside of my nervous system or soul. I know that the psychology or mental health industry would never believe that it is real, but instead some problem with my nervous system or my psychology. However, I am certain that it is real and that is has something to do with Gabriel. Gabriel or God has said that it has to do with Satan, but I'm not sure if I believe in him.

What I know is this:
  • It almost always occurs when I am halfway asleep, and my body is resting and not interested in getting up. I lay down in this style and I am active in my brain and soul, but this presence is often there whenever I verge near it's topic or it's part of the brain.
  • It's not the same thing as me. It's survival depends upon eating my soul. No matter how many times I try to kill it, there is always something trying to tell me that he needs to eat my soul and torment me to live.
  • It's directly connected to my hearing. Putting my fingers in my ears or listening to music makes it go away.
  • It snickers and laughs when it tortures me, as if it is revengeful or gains great pleasure from inflicting pain upon me.
  • It has called itself a "gene" and it prefers a body existence while I prefer a soul existence.
  • I feel much better when I eat something, and it seemed to go away when I had something substantial in my stomach.
  • The demon is inside of my mind and I cannot think about certain things or something even speak when the demon is active in my brain. It's almost like a whole part of my brain is being used by this demon and I can't remove the demon.
If I spend time in my head trying to draw a circle, I can no longer complete the circle. The damage to my nervous system is so horrible (and to my soul) that I can only complete the circle 90% before my soul switches to a different nerve and can no longer complete. It could be a nervous miswiring or something much more integral inside of my soul.

I don't think anyone can help me with this problem except an Angel.