Saturday, March 26, 2016

I had dinner with my family...

and it was good. I became more moderate and social able, and my mind become less cloudy and more sane.

However, on the way back home, I cam to a startling conclusion.
Spokane, Washington is not a good city. In fact, it's a really dead city, filled with idiots, crazy people, and low incomes. The fact that I live here means that I'm not alive. No opportunity will come to me by being in this city, except those which may come from my mailings.

And here is my realization:
I am sustained by death.
The past 10 years have been really, really horrible for me and I have been close to death many, many times. I think I've found a method to finally do me in, but I wonder if it will damage my soul permanently and if I have the right opportunity to pull it off.

My life is so horrible, that everything I do is shaded by death, lack of opportunities, and lack of friendship and love. I may even be death itself, to a certain people. Who knows what my soul could be doing during all this time. But I do know that my soul doesn't know the truth, and it's not quite an adult.

The things that I think about everyday are terrifying and epic. But considering how close I am to death, I'm always making plans and trying to strengthen my mental muscles so I can escape my situation. I'm trying to become smart enough to make money playing stocks and betting on odds. This may happen, you never know. I could become a genie, or my soul could finally unlock and increase my intelligence enough to make the common man world look like a joke.

So I am sustained by death. All of my life is colored by my close proximity to it. I am deathly myself.
Gabriel, a traitor, a liar, and a treacherous pleb, doesn't care enough or isn't strong enough to save my life and give me a new opportunity, or a whole new life.

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